Well, not that unexpected, since we planned on having him. BUT the journey of pregnancy and of becoming a mommy had it's unexpected moments. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my son and am completely obsessed with him, I mean look at him...how could I not be.
Anyways, in typical Madison fashion, I am going to make a list of things I was not expecting about pregnancy and birth and life after birth.
Pregnancy
- Having really bad nausea for my entire pregnancy. It was somewhat manageable once I started taking Zofran everyday, but it still had it moments. Like the several occasions when my husband came home from work, leaned in to give me a kiss, and I totally gagged. I felt so horrible, and kept explaining that it wasn't his fault, but I know this was hard on him.
- Getting used to people rubbing my belly all of the time. I thought this would be really difficult for me, but since we go to a spanish congregation, and hispanics tend to have a smaller personal bubble, (I mean, they generally greet each other with a kiss on the cheek, so that automatically sets them apart from most of us anglos), I was able to withstand cringing every time I got rubbed.
- Feeling like Free Willy every time I had to get out of bed to pee, which happened to be several times in one night. Once I was big enough, the act of rolling over became very difficult and was always accompanied with sounds a whale makes.
- Crying. I cried a lot. At really stupid things. Except for the time we watched La Bamba and Selena back to back, that was a totally justified weep session. Rickkkkkkkyyyyyyy! Oh gosh here I go again. Thank goodness those hormones don't just disappear as soon as the baby is out! But we will discuss that later.
- Anger. The same hormones that made me cry also made me really angry sometimes. Especially at work. Everyone always had something to say about MY pregnancy, and MY body, and it made me furious. I am really surprised I didn't fly off the handle, not even once. I know most people were probably just joking, but I got really tired of being teased about how I can't do this and I can't do that, oh "watch out Madison's water might break" or "Where's Madi? Probably sitting in the walk-in refrigerator". Yes, I would take a small cup of water into the fridge whenever I had the chance, but it was 115 degrees and I was very pregnant, give me a freakin' break.
Labor/Birth
- That escalated quickly. I was only in labor for about 5 hours. I started counting my contractions on Monday night around 11:00 PM and they were already 5 minutes apart, so at around 11:30 PM we started driving to the hospital, even though Abraham was convinced that baby wasn't going to come after our false alarm a week prior. We were still driving when I realized my contractions were now about 2-3 minutes apart, and I started getting a littttttle panicky. Got to the hospital and was already 7 cm dilated (I didn't know what that meant before I had a kid, so I'll just say that once you get to 10, you push). I feel like the part that took the longest was getting checked in with the nurse, and getting my epidural. BTW the epidural was fantastic. I now call it the magic rain. The epidural took a while to get because I "kept moving", well excuse me for breathing while I am hunched over and having contractions. Rude. After the epidural I asked if I could take a nap, because I felt that good, and the nurse said no, because I have to start pushing soon. I was really sad I couldn't get a nap in first haha. Pushed for like 30 minutes and BOOM out came our slimy, screaming bundle of joy.
- Wanting to punch my husband in the face. I love him oh so much, but there is a line when you are having contractions and being poked and prodded constantly, and he crossed it. While I was getting checked by the nurse, who so kindly reminded Abe that he could change the TV channel, he decided to watch some show that displayed short videos of people falling, crashing, and doing other stupid stuff. This is his true passion in life, and looks up these kind of videos on youtube probably everyday. I wouldn't have minded if I didn't have to hearing him laughing the whole time I was having contractions and getting stabbed with needles. Line crossed. No one can be that joyous while I am in so much pain, end of story.
- These words from my doctor and nurses. Very unexpected. "Where's Dr. Nelson? I don't want to deliver this baby! Page him again! Sweetie, I know you want to push but try not to." I seriously was so close to screaming out "WHERE ARE YOU DR. [insert last name here]!!!!!" Even with the epidural, pushing was very uncomfortable, painful, and not pushing was like torture. "Ok, Madison your baby is halfway out, go ahead and grab him and pull him out." WHAT?! We definitely never discussed this and I promptly answer with a firm no, but he was persistent and wasn't letting me out of this experience. So I stuck my hands out and he guided the baby into my arms, which also led to the unexpected thought of, "Oh my gosh it's so slimy and flailing, how do I hold this thing?!" But, I did, and it was magical. Last but not least, my favorite quote from my doctor, which was said after I asked him how many stitches I ended up getting, and he replied with, "I lost count." This didn't mean as much to me then as it means to me now, especially since I ran out of Vicodin on Sunday. Apparently my sweet little boy tore one of my muscles on the way out, thank you very much son, so now my labor experience will be known as "The Wrath of Samuel".
Life After Birth
- This one is a repeat. Crying. I did not cry once during "The Wrath of Samuel", I think the first time I cried was in our hospital room the next night. He had just been fed and was sleeping in the bassinet, and Abraham came and put his arm around me and we just stared at our perfect little miracle, and I couldn't help but cry. This happens a lot. I can't help but cry when I look at that perfect, healthy baby because I feel so blessed to be his mom and that God would grant me such a gift.
- This one too. Crying. I bawled my eyes out when they nurse came in and did Sammy's PKU screen, which required pricking his heel and squeezing blood out of it. Sammy didn't even cry, like a boss, but I was ridiculous. Let's blame the hormones, shall we?
- And this one. Crying. I never thought I would find myself in a CVS Pharmacy crying because they wouldn't give me my painkillers. I felt like a total junkie for a second, but let me remind you of the stitches without count. I went to fill my prescription the night we came home from the hospital and when I dropped it off they said, "Your Dr. forgot to put a quantity, so we can't give it to you until we get a hold of him and he tells us how many." And then I cried a lot, and waited for 2 hours to get my drugs. I am so grateful my friend, Ashley, was with me, because she was a total boss and kept asking when they'd be done, or if they had reached my Dr. yet, because I could barely walk, let alone get up and yell at the pharmacy techs.
- Changing diapers is not as hard or disgusting as I imagined it would be. No, I had never changed a diaper before changing my son's, and was a little worried, but how hard could it be? Yes, I have almost put it on backwards, several times, but you'd get a little flustered too trying to put a diaper on a baby who is screaming and punching and kicking. They said he'd be calm and sleep a lot because he was early (born a day shy of 37 weeks), but they were very wrong. He is crazy.
- Getting an upper respiratory infection a week after he was born. As if I wasn't in enough pain, stitches without number, but now I have "a bunch of crap" built up behind my ear drums that makes my head feel likes exploding. Thankfully the meds are starting to kick in and the pressure is less, now I just have a "bunch of crap" draining down the back of my throat. yummy yummy.
- And my favorite one: I never knew I could love someone so much in an instant. I have heard it so many times, that the love you will have for your child is something you have never before experienced. And I believed it, but feeling it was something entirely different. I would do anything for this little boy, who has me completely wrapped around his teeny tiny finger. I mean, look at him again... you would be wrapped too.
So, that was long, because as I mentioned, a lot of unexpected shtuff went down since the day I went to urgent care in January thinking I had a bladder infection and was told that in fact I was pregnant. I guess that should have been number one on my list of unexpected moments haha. I hope y'all have enjoyed my rantings, maybe I won't wait a year to write on here again.
Love, a very exhausted new mom
